Musings?- A non related work post

Several disclaimers:

I don't normally write a blog on my thoughts. For several reasons that I am not going to spend the time and write about. I apologize in advance for a badly English written blog.  This does and does not at the same time have anything to do with the work going on here in Japan. I am tempted to not post this but I want to share how faithful God is despite my brokenness and doubts.



In the last month and half my world has changed a lot.
The man(my dad) who has always been a driving force in my whole life had a serious stroke. While he will Lord willing continue to improve and heal he wont ever be the same. His love for Gods word and following Him always has had a huge impact on all of us kids. I could always count on him to be there to argue strongly against my ideas or support me in what I did.

Secondly, this past weekend my brother-in-laws sister suddenly passed away. While I was never close to her since we lived in different places the time I did spend with her put her as a lady I highly respected and desired to imitate. Her love for Christ, life and adventure inspired me. I hope to be able to explore the world some day like she has done.

I thought through the work(working in a natural disaster zone) I have been doing for the past two years I would be used to "bad things" happening. I should have gotten used to dealing with pain and sorrow. Used to hearing about death and sickness. I have seen destruction that I will never forget my entire life. Heard stories and experience peoples pain as they related those stories time and time again.

So why does everything within me scream out this is not fair? Why God would you allow this to happen??
While I believe it is ok to ask why and to struggle with that. In the last several weeks I have seen God reach out to me in ways I couldn't imagine showing how much He really does love and care. He has used people(most havent even realized) in my life, nature around me, kids, and His written Word.

A psalm that has really been close to me in the last week is Psalm 63. The whole psalm is amazing. But I will leave you with these verses in particular:

³ Because your love is better than life,
    my lips will glorify you.
⁴ I will praise you as long as I live,
    and in your name I will lift up my hands.
⁵ I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
    with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

⁶ On my bed I remember you;
    I think of you through the watches of the night.
⁷ Because you are my help,
    I sing in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ I cling to you;
    your right hand upholds me.